adhd questions

[Mary D]

(I bumped this from a previous ADHD thread)

I also have a 7 year old with some aspects of adhd so I read the recent post about it and practical pointers and had a few questions of my own.

We just started hs this year. We tried meds last year after teacher suggested she might have adhd. Docs "confirmed" diagnosis but I am not sure yet. We started Feingold in April and I have seen some fruits of that labor. We stopped meds after seeing such a negative change in her and I researched so much on the internet that I am so scared to go that route again.

I can pretty much deal with her being inattentive and unable to focus 100% of the time. We just change what we're doing and try it another way. Where I mostly relate to the post on here recently is her having to be fussed at a lot during the day, ie. bothering her siblings, not keeping room clean, etc. The impulsiveness seems to be the biggest thing tugging at my heart when it comes to her diagnosis because the other things we work through best we can. My son has commented often that his sister doesn't like him or is mean all the time to him and these things break my heart. Can anyone give me an insight on what problems we might face if we don't go the medicine route? I have read about growing up with problems with the law, etc. I mean, if we just work through things best we can. Is there anyone else out there who did this/does this and what have been the results?

[laurie in ok]

Mary - I don't kow that this has to do with not medicating - but girls who are not treated for ADD are much more likely to experience depression; use drugs; become pregnant at a young age, and other reckless behaviors. There are other treatments out there besides medication - so I'm not trying to scare you into using medicine. But, I would encourage you to look at other treatments - excercise; diet; life coaching, etc.

If you google girls ADD ADHD you can find articles specifically related to girls and the issues they face.

:group: to you - from someone who has a dd with ADHD.

[Shelly in MN]

. Can anyone give me an insight on what problems we might face if we don't go the medicine route? Depression, anxiety, chronic underachievement, feelings of worthlessness, inability to maintain meaningful relationships are a few of the things you/she may face if she doesn't get the proper help/treatment. (Note: I am not saying that medicine is included in that proper treatment. :) )

I can say this because these are things that I, as someone who wasn't diagnosed with ADD until adulthood face.

Praying that the Lord give you His wisdom and guidance as you seek to help your precious daughter. :)

[TonyaP]

My personal (lifetime) observation is that with any "quirk", if you don't acquire coping skills then there are going to be problems. A lot of what I look back on in my own childhood and see as behavior, thoughts, etc. that should have been addressed weren't because they just didn't do that back then. KWIM? You were just who you were and went with it. I do take medication now for some of my issues (not ADHD) and work on learning coping mechanisms. These steps along with applying myself to truly knowing God have made a huge difference in my life- to the point where others (and I) don't really recognize myself (in a good way).

For my own child, I'm trying harder to see that there are issues that need to be addressed. I don't necessarily have to be punative all the time, though discipline is sometimes necessary. But I do need to see where he is just not working in sync with those around him and try to help him work out a way to do so. We do a lot of talking about how even though it seems like some action is "OK" it really does bother other people and he needs to stop. He may get a time-out in his room sometimes or I'll have to take other measures, but the goal is for him to develop that empathy to see how his choices impact others.

So my initial advice would be that if you know or sense that your child does not react "normally" to certain stimuli or situations, gently teach her how to do so. Sometimes what we perceive in our own minds as just the right thing to do isn't, and a little guidance can go a long way. ;)

(Note, we too struggle with the decision of when it's something we can handle and when to seek professional help of some form whether counselling or medication or both.)

[Laura F]

So did you have your dd tested by a psychologist? Our ped diagnosed my dd with ADD after I filled out a parent assessment, but I still insisted on psychological testing. DD & I also visit the psychologist once a month to discuss her progress or ongoing problems. I've learned all sorts of coping strategies--for her and for me--and highly recommend behavioral therapy whether you choose meds or not.

[Mary D]

yes, we saw a psychologist. He agreed with the pedi that she was ADHD. At the time we saw him she was on Focalin for ADHD and he just suggested that we continue with the meds and we didn't need to return to see him. This was before I really researched the meds, read more into alternative treatment, etc. I have since taken her off and started Feingold and I see some improvement.....I think. Wish I could clear my mind about all this and figure out what is just a stage she will outgrow and what is truly a problem. After following a couple homeschooling boards, it seems to be a trend that all 7-8 year olds are inattentive and not able to focus!?!?!?!?!? She does, however, control her anger a little bit better now, which is great. But, she is really negative on herself often saying things like "I'm stupid" when she gets fussed at for something.