Desperate and don't know where to turn

[Jennifer in MS]

I have concerns about my dd. How do I get help in finding out if it is something to worry about or if everything is okay?

I love FIAR and do it conversationally with my dd a few times a wk. She is in PS only because I don't feel I can give her what she needs and keep up with everything else. The school has brought up concerns but no help with solutions other than summer school and tutoring which I can't get transportation for. They say they are monitoring her but they have been doing that for the past 3 years and continuing this yr with no results so far.

She is 8yo and in 2nd grade. She was born 5wks early. I don't know if that is important or not. She was put in a developmental kindergarten the first yr. I still do not understand that but the school no longer has this class and will not talk about it.

My concerns are;

[1]She has had problems with her speech. It has gotten better as she has learned to read and spell. When she was 4 the speech therapist thought she had an interesting accent.
[2]She would not color, scribble or etc when she was younger and still doesn't like to. This year I was told that she is having problems with fine motor skills.
[3]I am getting conflicting information on her reading level. End of last yr she was on an early 2nd grade level and beginning this yr she is not even on a first grade level.


Early intervention doesn't start until 3rd grade. That doesn't sound right to me.

How do I find out if she is really having problems?

I appreciate any help.

[Leslie Nelsen]

((((Jennifer))))

It's a hard place to be in when you think something is wrong and you don't know where to go. My almost 8yo has been struggling with some of the things you mentioned. I recently had him tested for a variety of things just to see where his strengths and weaknesses were - and to see if there were indeed issues that needed to be addressed.

We went through a private tester, but the public school should be able to do this for you (or anyone else that wants it done). I would ask that they test your dd for learning disabilities. There should be a person on staff that is able to do this for you. Someone else will probably have better info on who to call or how to proceed.

I agree that you should not have to wait until 3rd grade. That is just silly. If she is struggling now, she should not have to wait a whole year for help.

:group: Hugs to you as you sort this out.

[Jennifer in MS]

Thanks Leslie. How do you find a private tester?

Today the superintendent said they need to monitor dd before they could test her. They have been monitoring her for 3+ yrs. Last week the early intervention lady said dd had to be in 3rd grade. One day they say she is fine, the next she is behind. I keep getting the run around.

I called the best ped for miles around and they have no idea where to go.

There is a university about 1hr away with a good education dept. Do you think they might be able to help? Would I e-mail the head of the dept?

Maybe I am just not explaining it right. I have issues of my own that run in the family. It gets worse as I get older. That makes it very hard to help her.

DH hated school and looks at it as a necessary evil. So, he just expects her to hate it and have trouble with it.

[Linda]

We just had my 10 year old tested. We went through a pediatric neuropsychologist. It was a full 2 days of testing. We have a much more complete picture of our dd now. We know her IQ, her aptitude in all scholastic disciplines, her fine motor abilities, her gross motor abilities and more.

From there, we are working on therapies that can improve her weak areas and get her up to the level she should be performing at w/o the frustration we are experiencing with her.

I'd check the university to see what department does testing. There are speech therapists that deal w/ one aspect, audiologists that deal w/ another, vision therapists that deal w/ yet another. The testing we did and now the therapy we are implementing takes all of those separate disciplines and rolls them all into one. By working on all the areas at once we're hoping we'll see real positive results. This same dd did vision therapy last year and graduated from the program in 6 months. While it did help some w/ her reading it didn't help in all areas like we had hoped. Now that I understand more about the whole process, it makes more sense to me as to why we need the whole brain/body being involved.

Take a look at some of Diane Crafts resources.

From what you are saying it seems like your school district is giving you a bit of a run around. Could it be a funding problem? They might not have the resources to get you the testing that is required by the state so they keep putting you off? :unsure: I really have no idea, those are just suggestions. Waiting until third grade just seems wrong. :perplex: There is a big jump, in schools, from 2nd to 3rd grade in what is expected of them and their needing to take information being fed to them and now making it their own and thinking things through for themselves. It would seem that if you already have problems in these areas at the beginning of 2nd, waiting until 3rd isn't going to help. :unsure:

:group: Praying for you that you'll find some answers and help for your gal. I know how frustrating it is, for both of you!

[AshleyS]

I agree that the school is giving you the run-around. And I was going to say contact a pediatrician but it sounds like you've gone that route??

Try finding the closest place that provides private therapy for children (PT, OT and speech) as they should be able to evaluate your dd in all three areas. Just look in the phone book if all else fails. I don't know why a ped couldn't help with you locating a place like this as they should be referring kids to a place like this if they see problems. If anything, find the nearest Children's hospital and call those particular departments for ideas on where to go for testing.

And third grade sounds a little late for early intervention IMHO!

:group:I know too well about run-around so I'll be praying you find the right testing route!

[Lisalyn]

Jennifer,

I can't remember where you are in MS, but if you are up north, I can give you names and numbers for UT and LeBonheur in Memphis.

We have a group in TN called TNStep. It is an advocacy group for families dealing with disabilities and public education resources. See if you can find a disabilities group or ARC group. Or even a support group for Autism. Any of those places should be able to tell you who to contact for private evals or how to get the PS to take action.

:group::group::group:

[Shannon P]

Since when is third grade early intervention??!! I'm appalled.

The school is mandated by federal law to test her. It specifically states that it does not matter even if the student is passing from grade to grade. They have no excuse.

Write a letter requesting testing for disabilities. Include her name, date of birth, school and grade. Make sure the letter has your contact info at the top in the appropriate heading.

Send it by registered mail to disability testing coordinator of the school district, sometimes called the "child find" coordinator, or whoever receives referrals for disability testing. Send a copy to the local principal and her teacher. Keep a copy for your records; staple the mailing receipt to it.

You must put it in writing for it to happen. If it didn't happen on paper, it didn't happen.

[Hollie in SC]

Agreeing with Leslie and Linda that you might want to start out with a private test.


I spent 5 hours at a conference on Saturday regarding special needs and dealing with the schools. If you choose to push things with the school district, I suggest that you go in with a kind heart and be very, very careful to maintain good relationships with the people working with your child. Yes, get EVERYTHING on paper good/bad. However you need to walk a line between maintaining relationships and advocacy. You don't have to agree with them, but remember that she is in their care all day.


IF you choose to work with the school, I'd start on this site:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/

There may be someone you can contact there and talk with.

There should be an advocacy group in your state that you can talk to as well. Probably somewhere on this page :unsure:
http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/

Your library may have this book:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/store/feta.html
and this one:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/store/selaw2.html

:group: Blessings to you and your child.

[Leslie Nelsen]

Jennifer,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time getting help. :group: That must be very frustrating. I found a tester by asking friends how they had tested their children. Do you know other people who have children with any type of learning disability? This would be a good place to ask for referrals.

Also, do you have an email loop or yahoo group that is dedicated to special needs learners? I'm on one that was started in NC, but I know people from other states are on it too. It's called GIFTSNC if you want to look there, join and ask for advice.

I just looked up the gal that did testing for us and she is a "licensed psychologist" with a PhD. I don't know if that would give you a place to start. She did a number of tests on Isaiah which I think is important for finding out what you are dealing with.

:group: Hoping you are able to find someone to help you soon!

[carriejoy]

Jennifer, how is this going? I can only say that you have to KEEP ON THE SCHOOL like CRAZY. It's ok if they think you're the psycho mama. Really. It is. Many smaller schools or schools with smaller budgets don't like to do what is REQUIRED BY LAW for them to do.

Research your laws if you can. I know it is hard working full time and keeping up with all your home responsibilities too. :group: Wish I knew more about MS to be more specific. But seriously - get on them. Tell them that waiting is NOT an option. Tell them you'll pull her out of school if they haven't tested her by ______. They don't like to lose students as that means losing funding and power.

:group:

[Melissa C]

Just now seeing this, Jennifer. I used to teach special ed in the public school. There are two things you can do... first of all, what you are looking for is a "psychoeducational evaluation." That may or may not include speech, ot or pt. They psychologist will decide if more testing is needed.

You can find a psychologist to do this kind of testing. Chances are your health insurance will pay for it.

You can also make a referral in writing and request a full psychoeducational evaluation from the school district. When you send this letter (certified return receipt), let them know that you know your rights as a parent and you will not accept no for an answer. Call the Special Education Superintendent of your county and make it clear that your daughter must be tested. When a parent requests an evaluation, the school system may NOT turn them down. Period. And they have that time limit in which it must be completed. This is a federal law, has nothing to do with funding, "following her," early intervention or anything of the sort.

They will have a printed copy of the parents rights which they are to distribute to a parent at EVERY meeting, so trust me, it's there! :D

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time!:group:

[Melissa C]

Did you ever feel like you made any steps in the right direction, Jenifer?? Just wondering how things are going! :group: